The Trouble With Muses

I believe we all have muses. Only we don't all listen to them. Most people believe they only have one muse and that may be true for them, but not for me. I happen to have multiple muses and unlike the ones that are found in Greek Mythology mine are not waif-like beauties draped in gossamer fabric. Nope not mine. All my muses happen to be men, and rather smug ones at that. And before you ask, yes, they all have names.

I am a rather good cook (if I do say so myself.) So of course I have a muse in the kitchen. His name is Julian. I think that is a play on Julia Child, but he chose it so who am I to argue. One day when I am feeling like humiliating myself, I will tell you of the great cupcake fiasco of 2009. Julian was especially funny that night and enjoyed calling for the others to watch so there would be witnesses.

But the two muses that I spend the bulk of my time with are Stephanos and Gordon. Stephanos was actually the first muse that I met and the one responsible for starting me on my journey of becoming a writer. He is the one that wakes me up at 4am asking why I'm wasting time sleeping when there are stories to be written.

Stephanos' comrade in arms is Gordon. The best way to describe Gordon is to say he is my grammar muse. Yes. I said grammar. Quite frequently he stands over my shoulder and says things like--"You call that an action verb?" or "Too many adverbs. No one needs that many adverbs." He is well intentioned, but rather irritating from time to time. There are a couple of others, but these are the ones that I seem to hear on a daily if not hourly basis. In fact, Gordon is looking over my shoulder at this very moment making sure that I do not use too many adverbs.

People have asked me where the ideas for my manuscripts come from. In truth, I don't know. I only know that they do come and I am grateful for that. I only wish the guys would get their act together and pop in when I actually have the means to write down or record what they are telling me. Because let me tell you, they have a knack for picking the worst times to make suggestions. Luckily for me, my guys are used to me yelling at them to come back later.