2012 was an incredibly difficult year for me. There were
times I was so discouraged about things I wondered why I even bothered. I
won’t go into all the sordid details they aren’t really important. There were spots of sunshine and energy, but over all I allowed my life to come to a screeching halt, doing only what I had to do
to get by. It is not something I am proud of, it simply happened
The crazy thing was, I could see what was happening, but I couldn’t stop it. I let
my health go, my happiness go, and worst of all, I let my muses go. By the
middle to the end of the year, I couldn’t write my way through a wet Kleenex.
But instead of forgiving myself for my moments of laziness, I
did the opposite. I put so much pressure on myself it was impossible to get
things done. Instead I found other ways to squander my time. Since I had not
completed the task and I would get mad at myself for being a slacker which
would only push me further into my self-made sink-hole.
But slowly, I have been coming out of it. I have finally
admitted a few things to myself that I have always known but was reticent to admit. We can discuss some of those later.
This year I begin anew. After all since we survived
the Mayan doomsday thing it so seems fitting. I plan on doing things this
year that I have wanted to do but was afraid to. And for the first time in many years, I have decided to make
a resolution and here it is.
I resolve to forgive myself and move on. Whether it’s eating
a second piece of chocolate cake or watching a movie instead of writing. I will
acknowledge it happened, but not dwell on it. That's it. Not too earth shattering, but very important.
I hope that everyone has a safe and happy New Year’s.
Blessing and light to all!
